Telling someone that you don’t want to let them into part of your life can be hard, but it ultimately can save your relationship and make you feel safe. Boundaries are not meant to push people away but to protect the vulnerable parts of you that you don’t want to share with everyone.
When it comes to healthcare, you need to feel safe and seen by medical professionals. It’s okay to tell a doctor that you don’t want to see the number on the scale, talk about your body, discuss your trauma, or anything you don’t want to talk about, for that matter.
If you don’t feel comfortable telling this to your doctor/dentist in person, you can reach out before the appointment to clearly state your boundaries and set expectations for what subjects you are not willing to discuss.
Our Primary Therapist, Erica A., has helped us put together a template for this type of email you can send to your doctor or dentist.
You can send this to their office a week before and maybe even send a reminder the day before the appointment.
Template for Doctors Appointment
Email Subject: Setting Boundaries for Upcoming Appointment
Dear Dr. X,
My name is [Your Name], and I have an appointment on [Date and Time]. I’m reaching out to let you know that I do not want to talk about my weight or the appearance of my body in our appointments. Please do not weigh me unless it is medically necessary and if it is medically necessary, please explain to me how this information will support my care.
Thank you for respecting my boundaries.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
Template for Dentist Appointment
Dear Dr. X,
My name is [Your Name], and I have an appointment on [Date and Time]. I’m reaching out to let you know that you may notice some damage to my teeth, which is a result of nutritional deficiencies. I am receiving care for these deficiencies but do not wish to talk about causes or treatments with a dentist at this time unless it is medically necessary. If it is medically necessary, please explain to me how this information will support my care.
Thank you for respecting my boundaries.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
